Blind
by Halesxx
Summary: a school drenched in sun produces the darkest shadows. the students were the reckoning. the kids lived, breathed and ate chaos, because that’s all that was given to them. they need to be the best. to be perfect. because only the best could make the best world, and that’s what they would have to do. they were the students of elysian academy.
1. Chapter One

A clock ticked by in time with her heartbeat. A pencil tapped every few seconds. Her teacher droned on about quantum theory, despite the fact that they learned it in eighth grade.

Clary counted the seconds until class would be over. Her next class was her favorite. It was with her best friend, Izzy.

Today was just longer than usual as Clary antipated the masquerade ball tonight. The ball was meant to prepare them for other prestigious events with important people, but Clary mostly enjoyed the hidden vodka and the secret parties afterwards.

That's the thing about teaching children how to be the world's best deceivers, they start to lie to you as well. Don't burn the hand that feeds you they might say, but if you feed someone toxic waste don't expect for he/she to stay sane.

A buzzer filled the classroom and all students rose in unison. As they were trained to do. Clary trudged behind the girl in front of her and kept her head up as she walked down two halls to her classroom.

This class was martial arts. Izzy was already wrapping her hands preparing for a fight. They always sparred. Every once in a while the teacher would require them to do a new exercise.

Today was one of those days.

Mr. W (they were only given the first initial of all of their teachers), made them stand in a line. "In honor of tonight's ball, we will practice as if you were dancing with your opponent first. You must choose a person of the opposite sex."

Clary swaggered over to Magnus, a decent friend of hers. The students got in position for a waltz, and Clary's hand lined up with Magnus's. The dance began, gorgeoud humans moving with precision and grace. Clary was the first to strike. She went straight for the throat.

Magnus seized, searching for air but quickly recovered and attacked.

This too was a dance, of grace and precision. of chaos. Clary thrived on it. The amount of adrenaline that flowed through her made everything slow, anchored her.

She supposed that was why the class was her favorite.

* * *

_a few months ago_

_Seduction and Utility, was Clary's least favorite class. Not because she didn't like seduction, but because most of the students were the opposite of it. They were awkward, virgins. Including Clary unfortunately. _

_It was the only class she struggled with. _

_The teacher had gotten frustrated with this clearly by the fourth day of class. "Have none of you had sex?! Jesus last years class had no virgins what is wrong with you all?" Teachers had no filter, or care for their feelings._

_Clary wasn't exactly hurt by it though. _

_"Your first homework assignment is lose your virginity jesus. I can't work with any of you if you aren't aware of what exactly your bodies can do." _

_This, now this, was a problem. Clary felt her entire body seize up in panic at her words, and the teacher noticed this. "Clarissa. You're usually such a great student. Why do you look like you're going to puke?" _

_Clary cleared her throat. "Because ma'am, I don't know how I'm going to complete this assignment." _

_The teacher stepped forward. "Are you an idiot? Do you not know how sex works you fool?" Clary shook her head in panic. _

_"No no I know how it works."_

_The teacher's head raised. "You are a strong pupil, so I'll do you a favor and call in last year's best to help you complete the assignment." Clary's throat closed but she said nothing. The teacher dismissed the class but called Clary behind. _

_"You'll meet here at 9, I'll give you written permission to be out of your room." She only said before dismissing her. _


	2. Chapter Two

_Clary refused to tell anyone about where she was going past curfew. The horrid truth of her innocence would be out, and people would see it as a weakness. She couldn't afford that. _

_She was perhaps the most worried about who it would be, if he had been the best would that mean he was good at sex or just good at acting like he'd be good at it? Clary hoped it was the former but she couldn't help but notice her hand shake gently over the door handle of the teachers room. __When she turned it she held her breath. When she opened it, she released. _

_Standing in front of the window with his hands shoved in his pockets was Izzy's brother: Jace. Clary felt her heart sink in her stomach. He turned his head to her before turning his body fully torward her. _

_Clary softly shut the door behind her. _

_Their relationship was complicated. Jace was the best of the best at everything, and they competed often. Clary jokingly penned him golden boy, and he penned her a lot of names but his favorite was shortcake. _

_And now he was going to take her virginity because of a homework assignment. Classic. This damn school taking away her childhood and forging them into future freaking hitlers. damn them all. _

_"Need some help shortcake?" Jace finally spoke, a light tone in his voice but she could hear the roughness lying underneath. Damn him too. _

_Clary peeled her blazer off, and Jace took a step closer. "Not here." He said, and Clary held her blazer on her arm as she waited for him to say where. _

_He nodded torward the door and guided her with a gentle hand on her back out of it. _

Clary prepared for the ball, coating her face in a sickly sweet mask and curling her hair to perfection. She strapped a black mask to her face and stepped into her gold ballgown. She was ready within the hour.

Izzy was knocking at her door not very long after.

_By the time they stopped walking, Clary's heart was racing and she couldn't focus on much. They were in the library, in the far back that was surrounded by book cases and beheld a large couch. Clary stared at the couch without moving. _

_She felt his hand on her back slide onto her hip as the other one latched onto her other hip. He was behind her and leaning his head on her shoulder before he lifted it until his lips touched the shell of her ear. _

_She felt the energy change in the air around her, and she leaned back into Jace. "When you're here with me, it's not about who we are. It's about what you feel and what you want. We are taught to never forget who we are and what we aim to get, but right here right now you know you can trust me. Only want Clary." He said against the back of her ear and a ragged breath fell from her open lips. _

_Clary turned and began to unbutton her shirt slowly. She watched his eyes drag over her, swore she could feel them trail down her black button up shirt and red skirt. "Fuck." Was all he said before he reached for the sides of her half open shirt and ripped down. _

_She blinked twice at what just happened and looked up at him through her eyelashes. Maybe she was better at this than she thought. She leaned up and set a small kiss at the base of his throat. She opened her mouth and started to suck softly as she pulled his blazer off and unbutton his shirt. _

_His hands, god his hands. They trailed down her back lightly before sitting at the top of her ass and roughly squeezing. Clary pressed her legs together tighter as she pulled his button up off and took off her own. She was in a black lace bra, courtesy of seduction and utility class. It was required._

_Clary pulled her lips away and stared at Jace. His mouth was slightly open just like hers and his eyes were nearly black. He didn't let her look for very long because he dragged her over to the couch and he sat down, pulling her into his lap. Clary looked down at him, at the golden hair around his head like a crown and brought her lips to his own. _

_It was much softer than Clary expected. Not entirely closed but not rushed either. Clary brought her hands up to his neck, twisting her fingers into the curls at the bottom of his head. It escalated slowly, first Jace added tongue, then Clary began trying to fight for domination of the kiss. Then as she did so, she found she moved over a certain part of him with a certain part of her tore groans from both of them. _

_So she began rocking like that slowly, until they weren't even kissing. Until their faces were just breathing each others air feeling whatever they wanted. Jace's hands ended up coming up her body and trailing down the valley of her boobs before he latched both hands on her. She gasped as he did and rubbed harder against him, pulling a sound out of him. _

_His hands ran to the back of her bra and began to unclasp it expertly. He pulled it off of her and carressed the underside of her breasts, causing her to shiver. She latched her lips onto his again and he reached up just enough to touch her nipples. He pebbled one between his thumb and first finger. _

_His lips gently went down from her lips to her jaw, down her neck until he was pressing open mouth kisses over the tops of her boobs. Clary was starting to lean back and slow her moves over him, but he settled his hands down again at her hips and moved her faster again. _

_his lips wrapped around her one of her nipples and he teased it with his teeth before running his tongue over her to soothe the sting. _

_And for once, Clary could feel it all. The feeling of rubbing over Jace and him sucking at her tits felt amazing. a loud moan fell from her lips. God how she wanted him. _

_Jace twisted her over and she was underneath him and his hands were trailing over her legs and his hips were no longer pressed against her but his hands were getting closer. They made circles on her thighs and Clary found herself thrusting her hips up to find some sort of friction. "Easy, shortcake." He mumbled against her nipple before switching to the other. _

_And then his fingers trailed over **her** through her underwear and she gasped. "Fuck." she could feel Jace's silent laughter and she frowned. "Asshole." She called him and he looked up at her through his eyelashes. _

_A smirk rested on his lips. "Not tonight." As Clary processed what he meant, Jace began kissing down her stomach until he reached her skirt. Clary would have cussed at him but he rubbed against her again and lifted her hips so he could pull her skirt off. He dragged her over the knee socks off and then started kissing at her hipbone. _

_He left a hickey there. He meant to, Clary knew he did. But she couldn't think long enough to fuss at him when he pulled her underwear off and set his lips on her. _

_Her hips would have rose so high off the couch if it weren't for Jace's expecting hands waiting to keep them down. "You're drenched." Jace mumbled against her and jutted his tongue out against her. _

_Clary's hand wound through his hair and she couldn't hold in her moans. She felt something poke into her before it was submerged in her and moving in and out of her. She clamped her walls on Jace's finger. "Relax." He said against her as he pushed in further. He lifted and settled his face in her neck as he continued moving his finger. _

_"You're so fucking hot, you know that?" He whispered. "The way you're gasping for me, so wet all for me. Your chest is so red and so are your cheeks. I could kiss every freckle on your body and I don't think even then that you'd get tired of me." At his last sentence, Clary closed her eyes tightly and thrust against his hand. "You want that, don't you? You want me worshipping you." _

_Clary ran her hand down his chest, over his abs and slowly undid the zipper of his slacks. Jace added another finger, which made Clary pause as she adjusted to. After a few seconds, Clary tilted her hips up and wrapped her legs around Jace, making his fingers go in deeper. _

_Jace groaned softly. Using her hands partially and then her feet, she pushed his slacks off. And then she stuck her hand in his boxers and brushed against him. A harsh breath hit Clary's neck. As she encircled him, Jace tried three fingers. Her discomfort made her pause for a minute but after that she threw her head back as he moved in and out of her. _

_She ran her hand up and down on him, and shoved his boxers down, doing the same as she did with his slacks. _

_They were two teenagers, breathing harshly against each other and getting each other off and they didn't have a care in the world. _

_Until Jace stopped Clary's hand, and his own ministrations. He grabbed a condom from the pocket of his slacks and put it on him. He directed his head at her entrance and rose up on a push up position to look at her. "This is going to hurt, Clary." Clary nodded and shut her eyes. "You're going to need to relax okay? It'll hurt more if you don't." She nodded again. _

_And she felt his lips press soft kisses on her neck, soothing her even more. He inched in slowly, and Clary's eyes shut harder. He stopped about halfway. "It might be easier from now on to do it fast." Clary mumbled an okay and set her hands on his back. _

_And as he in one fell swoop sat sheathed in her, her nails dug into the skin of his back. her eyes teared up. He refused to move until her nails eased on him, and even then he went slow. _

_After a few minutes of that, Clary released a shake-y breath before her nails dug into him again and her hip moved up to match him. He sped up then, and then he was kissing her. Roughly, messily but he was kissing her and she was dragging her nails down his back to just above his ass and pushing him down harder. _

_She threw her head back and he placed his lips instead on her neck, panting her name. She didn't think in that moment that she could ever get enough of him, his voice, his body, his soul. She squeezed his butt and he laughed against her. _

_"Jace" she gasped out as he hit a particularly sensitive place, and in turn he made every move to hit that spot over and over again, pulling his name out of her every time. His hand trailed down and pressed against that sensitive bundle just adding to the fire until Clary couldn't form words and her eyes were rolling in the back of her head. _

_she felt that feeling in the pit of her stomach escalate quickly, she was tightening around him until a large moan came out of her and she felt wave after wave of something indescribable. Not much longer she heard Jace groan and soften before pulling out of her. _

Izzy was gaping at her through her door. "You look hot wow." She told her and Clary reciprocated the words. Izzy was dressed in black, looking like some goddess of the underworld.

Izzy was a living breathing shadow, but everyone noticed her. "Alright, guess it's time to go appease these old bastards." She offered Clary an arm which she gladly took.


	3. Chapter Three

The ballroom was grand, everything about the school was grand but the ballroom showed the wealth. These kids were handpicked from the most influential and rich people in the world.

Clary was a Morgenstern. Her father owned a multibillion dollar business, and her mother was a politician. Izzy was a Lightwood, the Lightwoods were an army family, high up in top secret places. Her father was one of the most important people in the military.

Bottom line was, every student at Elysian academy had a background like theirs. They were sent here in order to be taught how to influence, betray, undermine, and rule the world.

Clary noticed the simple elegance of the ballroom, she'd been to the Met Gala before and this wasn't far off. Except everyone wore masks. Clary wasn't exactly sure why that was decided, but she hadn't given it any thought.

She wore a black lace mask over her eyes to contrast. Izzy wore a matching one. They matched in many things, they were best friends. Clary only trusted three people in her life and Izzy was one of them.

They linked elbows as they descended the stairs. Canon in D by Johann was playing, students were mingling. A few were already starting to share ways to get through the night.

Clary's lip perked at the thought.

They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Izzy gave Clary a look that told her she was off to find a boy to she would leave the ball with. Clary was okay with it. Izzy found her fun in boys, and Clary found hers in liquor.

So Clary went to find someone she knew who would have exactly that. It wasn't hard to find Magnus, given how much glitter he wore in his hair alone. She always did detest glitter, it got everywhere, but Magnus rocked it.

Magnus seemed a bit preoccupied with flirting with Izzy's brother Alec, who was blushing so harshly Clary could see it reach beneath his mask. Clary decided to ignore it and she set a hand on Magnus's shoulder, bringing the pair's attention to herself.

"Hi Maggy." She sang.

"Biscuit, how delightful it is to see you!" He grinned and Alec seemed to draw away from the conversation. Clary noticed, but Clary noticed most things. "Come for your favorite drink?"

Clary dropped her hand from his shoulder. "You know it." She winked casually.

Magnus glanced at Alec who kept shifting from one foot to the other. "The thing is," Magnus paused. "I don't have it. I didn't want to be caught with it so I hid it." Clary wanted to sigh but she never changed her facial expression. "It's on the other side of the ballroom, down a hall and in a janitor's closet." He whispered and Clary nodded before leaving the couple.

Clary began walking as fast and unnoticeably as she could to get to the hall on the other side of the ballroom. She was so caught up in it that she didn't realize until it was too late that hands wrapped around her waist.

She was drawn into someone's chest, in a dancing position. "Pretend like you're dancing with me so they don't look this way." Clary froze at the voice. Her head rose shakingly as she met the golden eyes of the ghost who once haunted her dreams a few weeks ago.

He had disappeared. She told herself. The teachers said that he was going to be sent to try to influence someone very important but he was caught. But he was here in front of her. She knew those eyes, she would never forget his eyes.

"Jace?" Her voice wavered and his eyes filled with concern but he masked it.

"Miss me?"

_The class the next monday went by more smoothly according to the teacher. They weren't so stiff, the stick was no longer up their asses as she said. _

_What was mortifying was when she pointed Clary in said class. Clary had been demonstrating the exact movements that would make someone attracted to them as they had been taught the second day of class. "You ooze sex appeal Clarissa, one day you'll be able to wrap anyone around your finger. But right now, you're not quite there. Practice with someone." _

_Someone had coughed on a laugh and Clary's cheeks turned bright red. Again she hated the class. _

_Isabelle voiced the a different sentiment when Clary brought it up to her. "I feel powerful, when I know how to manipulate someone with my body, or my eyes alone." She had told her. "I can give you a few tips on how to drive a man wild." _

_Clary had huffed and set her notebook down and listened intently. "You have to read their eyes and body language. You have to use your own body language to send signals. Sometimes innocence is hot, you got that going for you, use it. Make everything seem like an accident, but also don't."_

_"Men sometimes want you vying for their attention, and sometimes they want to get your attention. Subtle looks from far away at first, looks that scream I want you to bend me over a table. Then don't look at him at all, laugh and talk with other men. They'll try to get to you. "_

_"When they finally get near you, do everything you can to get them to focus on your best sex appeal assets. Your lips, your cleavage, your eyes. Those are the easiest." _

_Clary sighed. "We've already been taught that." _

_Izzy smiled. "Have you ever tried it?" Clary shook her head. "Then go." _

_So Clary begrudgingly left the safe confines of Izzy's room to the one room upperclassmen could relax. It was a large room with leather couches, chess boards, a piano, a pool table and racquetball room cut off to the side. As she walked in, she noted all of the boys in the room. _

_She'd grown up with all of them, yet none of them stuck out to her. She was almost ready to just look at one and do before she met eyes with: yes you guessed it: Jace Herondale. His eyes had been lazily glancing around the room while he played the piano but they latched onto hers easily as if they were magnets dragging by._

_And she looked him up and down, gave him a look that said that she was thinking about the last time they had sex before she bombarded herself in a game of billards with a few boys in her grade. She grabbed a pool stick and enraptured herself in the game. _

_It was perfect, honestly. The amount of times she had to bend over with her ass in Jace's direction was hilarious. One of those times was near the end of the game. She was about to hit in the eight ball when a boy from the other team made a move to slap her ass. Jace had held the boy's wrist and threw it back in his direction as Clary shot in the eight ball. _

_Clary straightened and turned to find Jace right in front of her. "You should wear a longer skirt." Jace told her, his eyes narrowing. _

_Clary licked her lips, noticed the way Jace's eyes watched her tongue as she did so. "You shouldn't look up girl's skirts." She replied. _

_Jace's smirk returned. "Homework assignment?" He asked. _

_"I was told to practice by the teacher. Izzy gave me advice just now." Clary said and Jace trapped her against the pool table with his arms. _

_"I'm not sure Izzy would like it if she knew you used the advice on me." Clary wrapped one hand around his wrist. _

_"Did it work?" She whispered. _

_"Was she advising you on how to make men undress you with their eyes?" _

_"No, she was advising on how to manipulate men into wanting me." Jace chuckled after she said that. _

_"You don't have to manipulate me to get that, Clary."_

Clary wanted to rip herself from his arms. Wanted to scream and hit him. But she was frozen. She couldn't move or breathe. "I need to talk to you." Jace told her, but she couldn't focus on anything. She was so confused. She wanted Izzy, she wanted to cry. "Meet me at our place midnight tonight. Don't tell anyone Clary. Please." Was all he said before he disappeared.

Clary gasped in an air full before she started searching for where he disappeared to. He was lost in the crowd and she was just lost.


	4. Chapter Four

Clary was frantic. Her heart had stopped and now it was beating so fast and she could hear it in her ears. Her dress now seemed 3x heavier. She felt so cold. But she schooled her face into something bored and elegant.

It was habit, to be like this under stress. She wasn't allowed to shake or show any emotion. Clary breathed out once and moved her way through the crowd. She really needed that drink now.

_Not long after the tension filled moment happened, Clary locked her fingers through his and pulled him out of the room. But it was him who pulled her into a janitor's closet. Clary let out a ragged breath. "You want me?" _

_There wasn't a foot between them. Clary felt prickles all over her skin as he towered over her. "More than I have anyone." He told her and Clary realized he was shaking. Only as she lifted a hand to his face did she realize she was too. _

_She traced the contour of his cheekbone to his brow. "Do you remember that summer that I stayed with Izzy. We went to Paris. You made it your mission to speak French the entire summer. God it was the hottest thing. You thought I didn't understand it, but I did. Izzy didn't." Her hands traced the slope of his nose to his lips. "You used to tell me how hot I was. You once told me that there were a million things you'd do to me if you could. That was normal to me, just manhoe Jace. But then another time we got drunk on the pier and you said that you were mine from the very second you saw me." Jace finally leaned his forehead upon hers. "I kissed you that night. I waited for a few days after for you to approach me about it but you never did. I thought if you blacked it out then maybe it was some higher power saving me from embarrassment."_

_Jace lifted his head to argue but Clary shook hers. "But then that night—" her voice broke. "More than the sex, than the way you cared for me, but the way you held me for an hour afterward. You traced circles on my back and kissed my forehead. When you thought I fell asleep, I heard you." Clary was tearing up now. "You knew by then I knew French. You spoke in Dutch. I learned that last summer. I didn't even tell Izzy. You told me that if we had a hundred of these nights, a thousand, it wouldn't be enough cause you wanted every night with me." _

_Jace's eyes were closed now as he braced for whatever she was going to say about his declarations. But she said "I can offer only two nights a week." Jace's eyes flew open. "Meet me on fridays and saturdays. 10pm. My door will be locked by 10:10. Don't tell Izzy." She spoke allowed before kissing his cheek and flying out of the door. _


	5. Chapter Five

By the time she was supposed to meet Jace, Clary was a little more tipsy than she thought. She stumbled on her shoes for a few steps before she tore them off and cursed to herself.

She wanted to curse the world. Or maybe whoever drugged her to make her see Jace. Clary pressed her nails into the palm of her hand at the thought. He was supposed to be dead, maybe he still was and she was just drugged.

Clary scoffed inwardly, she didn't know of a particular drug that'd make her only see Jace and that only be the effect. Everything felt too real. He looked, smelled and felt the same. But Clary couldn't afford that hope.

Yet here she was, in the library. The place where it all began. She was nearly to their place, and Clary sometimes leaned against bookcases to steady herself.

And there he was. He was still his suit but the mask he wore was disgarded on the couch. He watched her, drinking her in like he was dehydrated. Clary didn't blame him. He looked between her eyes. "I've thought about this a thousand times and I've never decided how I should greet you." Clary leaned against a nearby bookcase as her knees weakened.

She mourned him, she had been mourning him and now he was talking about saying hello? Clary felt bitter and hurt. "How about 'Hi, I'm sorry I came so late to tell you I'm not dead'?" She wanted to punch something, or scream.

"I couldn't." Jace spoke softly. "God you think I wasn't nearly driven out of my mind by Alec's updates?" The wind was knocked out of Clary and she took a step back.

"You could get _updates_ on my wellbeing but you couldn't say 'hey alec, tell her i'm not _fucking_ _dead_.'" Jace's head fell at her words. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. "Do you know what shit I went through? Do you even realize—?" She let out a bitter laugh. "I stopped eating." She started and Jace's head jumped up. "I stopped going to classes. I stopped leaving my room for a week. Until my dad came and put two and two together and gave me a black eye and broken arm for being so affected by you." Jace seemed to be shaking with anger. "He told me that if I was going to miss classes, it better be for a better reason than being too sad over a boy. So he gave me a better reason."

Jace unfurled and clenched his fist a few times. "Alec didn't tell me any of that." Clary scoffed.

"You think anybody knew? My dad told the school afterwards that I had come down with the flu and fell down the stairs after nearly passing out." Clary was shaking herself with anger. "My dad has one hand in everything, you think he'd let anybody know that shit? He wanted to beat me for just being involved with you. Said your father was weak, and we don't breed with weak men."

Clary didn't even realize she was crying until a drop fell on her lips. "Isabelle went through hell for you too. She never left her room either."

"I want to get Elysian Academy shut down. I want to get every corrupt official whose child goes here taken out, and I want start over." Jace finally told her. Clary gaped at him.

_Clary tried to busy herself with homework while she waited. Somehow the anticipation was greater now that she knew what she was getting, and the privacy made it seem so much more intimate to Clary. But the more Clary thought about it, the more distracted she became. _

_At first it started with rubbing her thighs together, but pretty quickly, Clary threw her books off her bed and stripped down to her bra and panties. She started to trail her fingers down the valley of her breasts, trying to imagine it was Jace's fingers. She carried that hand down her stomach where she shivered after doing so. She made circles there before over the front of her underwear, she pressed down. _

_A broken moan escaped her as she rubbed harder and spread her legs. After a few more times, she brought two fingers under her panties and another harsh breath escaped her. "Fuck." She heard called out and looked over at Jace lazily while continuing it before sticking her fingers down. _

_Jace stook three strides before he was on his knees on the bed watching what exactly she was doing. He brought a hand to her ankle and caressed it softly before pulling down to where his head line with hers. "Getting started without me?" He questioned and Clary hesitated. _

_"Fuck, I had a plan." A ragged breath escaped him and Clary could smell the mint in his breath. "I wasn't going to come here to have my way with you, shortcake." _

_And in reply, Clary lifted her head, almost bearing her neck for him. "And now?" She gasped. He was slow close yet so far away, and she couldn't get enough of him. She felt him trace his lips over the sensitive skin there. _

_"And now, I want to make you scream." He was so blunt about it, dirty dirty words, words that made Clary's hips jut out. _

"Why." Clary demanded. "Why tell me? Why come back here now? What held you back before?" And Jace's shoulders tensed.

"I came back because I love you."

"Bullshit."

Jace seemed a bit taken aback, before he started to get agitated as well. "I've had Elysian agents on my ass forever, I only managed to lose them last week. And everyone told me it wasn't safe. They had to be sure you wouldn't do something stupid, they had to be sure you..."

Clary squinted. "That I what?"

Jace took another pause. "That you love me enough."

A second and then another passed. "You know the moment they annouced that you died, Izzy screamed. She was screaming and I stood beside her frozen. It was like a cavern opened in my chest and it was sucking all of the life and good things in me. Our arrangement lasted a month, Jace. A month, and that's the shit I felt hearing that. I didn't believe it after a moment and for a week I battled with myself and tried to accept it. I couldn't be there for Izzy because I was too busy trying to be there for myself. And that guilt has been eating me up ever since." Every word she spoke was the truth and she took in a long breath after finally saying it. "I loved you then, and I love you now. I don't think I could ever stop."

Clary had never admitted the words. A week after the arrangement began, Jace had said them when he thought she was asleep and started doing so every time he could.

There was so much between them. All of the summers, parties, part of christmas breaks growing up together. Alec was family, Isabelle was family, but Jace was so much more.

And after Clary spoke her confession, Jace took two steps and kissed her. A hello, a promise, an apology. She needed all of them as much as she needed him.

Jace better fucking tell her what exactly happened while he was gone and who "they" were.


	6. ChapterSix

They made a plan to have another meeting in the greenhouse, on her birthday. It was there he'd tell her all he could. Jace told her that he was only allowed to let her know he was alive right now, another test.

He was told if he told her anything real other than that, he wouldn't be able to see her again.

Clary, the next morning made subtle glances at Alec and Magnus. Isabelle almost noticed a few times, but Clary hid it from her. Alec knew, but Isabelle didn't. She knew once Isabelle did, if she found out Clary knew before her, she'd be hurt.

Clary confronted Alec sometime after third period though. "Keeping tabs on me?" She slammed right in front of him, to where in order to stop from running into her he almost fell back.

"He asked me to." Alec went to swipe her out of his way but Clary pushed him back. She was not a fleck of dirt on his shoulder. She was Clarissa _fucking Morgenstern._

"Since when were you his bitch?" Alec looked up to meet her eyes for the first time, fury burning wildly in the blue orbs.

"I thought you loved him Clary."

Clary's nostrils flared, and she was thankful that most people were in their class by now. "Maybe that love died when I thought he did. Maybe, I'm just pissed you hid it from me while I was clearly not okay."

He took a step back, and Clary followed him. "You saw my dad leave my room. You helped me to the nurse's office Alec, and yet again you didn't tell him. You let him believe I was living, I was okay even if I missed him. You didn't tell him that my dad beat me so much I had a miscarriage."

Alec visibly flinched. "He didn't even know you were pregnant." He whispered.

Clary's chin raised. "You were protecting him, but you forgot to protect me. You forgot to protect what could have mattered most to him."

Alec quieted. "You think me telling him could have saved your baby? You think I could have? If I had told Jace he would have went out of his mind."

"No instead you allowed me to go out of mine." Clary threw bitterly at him, and he went to say something but Clary said "Did you even think about preparing me for seeing him? What it would be like to see him, and know one day I'll have to tell him my father killed our baby? That I let our baby die?"

Alec stared at her, and Clary scoffed before walking to class.

_Clary and Isabelle were sitting with Alec, Magnus, and Jace. Jace sat beside Clary, and she was helplessly aware of his presence. Isabelle and Alec were arguing about something, maybe Alec fighting with someone, but Clary was hardly paying attention. Not when Clary could still feel everything from the night before. _

_Jace leaned against the table, while Clary only settled her arms there. Their arms touched, and Clary's attention was honed to it. Jace laughed at something that happened between the siblings and leaned back, severing the contact he didn't know Clary loved. _

_Clary calmed her heart and listened in. "My body is my own, you have no right deciding who is or is not worthy of me—" Izzy yelled. _

_"Meliorn is a racist prick," Alec hissed. "He wouldn't be impressing you in the sack either so leave it alone." _

_Isabelle gave a bitter laugh, the kind that'd send the meanest of teenagers running. Luckily, Elysian Academy wasn't full of mean teenagers, it was full of manipulative and cunning ones. _

_"Care to tell us how you know that?" She asked finally. _

_"People talk Isabelle." Alec's eyes narrowed as he spoke. _

_"I've already slept with him **Alec." **_

_Alec seemed flabbergasted, and Magnus amused. Only Jace laughed though. _

_Clary felt a soft circling on the bit of skin showing on her back to where her blouse had ridden up. She turned to Isabelle, noting how focused she was on Alec. _

_"Clary, care to tell Alec something about assholes who think they own women?" Isabelle never tore her gaze away from Alec, but Alec's attention darted to her. She tried to play off aloof. _

_"What you mean my dad?" She asked. Alec's face scrunched up, clearly offended at the comparison. _

_"I'm sorry." He finally gave up. _

_"Dammit you couldn't have held out longer?" Jace swore and handed a twenty dollar bill to Magnus. _

_"You were betting on me?!" _

_Magnus examined the dollar bill, like Jace was sketchy enough to fake such a thing. _

_"We were betting how long it'd take for Isabelle to guilt trip you. Didn't know she'd bring the morgenstern dick up. That was a low blow." Jace glanced at Izzy with a quiet respect, unable to meet Clary's eyes and dropped his hand from her back. _

_"I wouldn't have made it if I thought Clary still cared at this point." Izzy told him, as she glanced at her. _

_"It doesn't matter about my feelings. It matters that you compared Alec to the man who told your mother to beat the gay out of him so he could arrange our marriage." Clary reminded Izzy. Alec's face hardened at the memory. _

_Isabelle's face morphed into disgust. "And mom refused and recommended Jace in Alec's place." _

_"She what?" Alec asked, surprised. _

_Isabelle looked at Clary for a second. "Maybe when we were like 12? Back when the world still thought Jace was a random adopted kid."_

_Jace took a sip of his drink and continued the story. "Then he saw me and realized who I was, realized I was his ex very dead cfo's kid. He'd hid Clary behind his back as he had to protect her from me. Didn't know practically grew up with her." _

_"And that you'd flirted with me in every language known to man even by that point." Clary said under her breath, but Jace laughed anyway. _

_"You're fun to mess with, Cherry." He told her, and Clary could read the underlining message. She'd smirked in return. _

_"I'm just the only one willing to keep up with you." Clary teased before grabbing an apple from her tray. _


End file.
